Sunshine that tickled me pink

This is a very special write up - Because, it’s been 12 years since I started to express in the form of words, and this is the first time I pen down to emote my happiness . All these days I have been writing down, to express my anger, anxiety, tears, stress which I want to be heard , but I do not want them to be shared.

This is just for the person who is reading it, and of late the main source or sometimes my only source of happiness, when I go to bed. I have bored him enough with my reasons, my flashbacks and this is just happy things. Let me also add a reason, why this write up is very special. I have never ever written something which is dedicated or which is solely for a person.

I always end up telling about my past, flashbacks, but I felt that I missed a person for years together, and now I have a satisfaction that I am just rewinding and narrating a similar soul, about what all happened these years after he left.

JUZ HAPPY THINGS - because of you

As I already said, it will be bookish if I say that ur my dad and im ur daughter, will sound fake, and I don’t have age to become ur daughter and vice versa. But I can say that definitely you are one among the best dad, who I have seen and have all major characteristics of my father which I admired.

I have been keenly watching, admiring, at times fell for your activities for the past one year. I search for the reason to stop admiring you, stop finding happiness through you. But in return, you added more reasons to like you.  thank you for being a gentle man, and you’ll always be one.

Trust me, this level of love, affection, trust, respect towards you is not just because , you resemble the person whom I like most, but also because of who you are. I want to answer your question, which you always wonder? Will it impact so much, or will someone have so much of dependency just because of this? Answer is definitely no , if you have been staying here . I wouldn’t have even told you, and I am very good in acting that way as well, like you had no clue for almost an year.

You always tell me, to get married soon, so that I will be engaged happily in other part of my life as well, also I might not be able to spend or express like how I am now. I know that is the reality and I won’t say or give false promise that I will be able to spend and have this amount of time or dependency, but I wish, I really wish I stay exceptional in your case alone. I may fail, who knows, but till then I want to be happy and yeah it sounds selfish.

Next time if you ever feel sorry for you have created so much of dependency, just remember that you have relieved me from a guilt that i had for years. 

There are lot of people around me to do lot of things to make me happy, put lot of effort to make me smile , but you don’t have to do anything to make me happy. I don’t even read, again what im writing for you, because myself feel very embarrassed to see me expressing so much , which is absolutely new and being behind someone, with so much of dependency. Better give me some reason hate you :) 

I believe emotions are temporary, feelings or affection or expression of all these are prone to change. Our likings and preferences will and should vary from time to time even if its relies on persons. I always believe in taking life as it comes, and if something leaves our life, it is not meant to be ours and we should just move on. All my psychology, beliefs failed and broke in this exceptional case. I hate this me, but still I don’t want to correct this. I want to live as normal human being in this case.  I will definitely try to understand reality.

When you keep up your promise and decide to come weekly once just for me, when you lend your ears to my non sense talks, when you remain with same smile though you leave home late just because of me, and now spend more than 5 minutes of your time just for reading this, all these means lot and lot for me. Thank you, and allow me do all small things that I have been longing to do for someone special, some one who I missed and I absolutely need nothing in return from you.May be, my utmost expectation will be just  your time. If not forever, stay with me for longest time you can.